4 words: hood of his car
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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