Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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