I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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