i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
