why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
