You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
