he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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