Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
