vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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