During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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