So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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