I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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