so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
