We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
