He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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