i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
