the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
