So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out