I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you remember whose house we're in?