no, he came in my armpit
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
