Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize