that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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