I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
