So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I just sharted jello shots
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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