Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
