Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
