Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
