He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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