We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
