Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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