when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
