I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize