I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he high fived his dick after we had sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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