so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
