I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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