You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
