You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
