Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
