i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
