After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was born a porn star she said
Sober January is a disaster.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
