oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
