long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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