Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
