i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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