Apparently you make a good broom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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