Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
