You can't special order awesome
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
