You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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