When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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