Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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