i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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