You work out of a Hotel?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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