she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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