I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
