the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
