this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
