your parents love me but you hate me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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