Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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