I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
