Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
