If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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