Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
