fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i love accidental penises.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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