Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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